Our home

I've had this subject rolling around in my head for a long time. As in, the place that I live, or what I call "home."

Caleb and I started looking for a house back in the northern Indiana area last year...and started looking more seriously with a realtor in November. At that point, I was pretty antsy to have our own place(even though I loved and appreciated living with my parents). We started discussing what kind of house we wanted back in Denver, and what our goals were financially.

Most of you know we both hate debt, and had thoughts of even paying cash for a house and never even having a mortgage. But...we would have had to get a pretty cheap, not so nice house to do that.

Another thing that drives my thinking is wanting to live simply. I tend to be against the whole American dream idea. I want to be responsible with what God gives us and not accumulate a lot of stuff so that we can be better givers. Partly in reaction to some things in the past, I decided I never wanted a big house or a lot of stuff. I want to stay away from being materialistic. I wanted a small house where we could still be generous and hospitable.

So when this house came along and it seemed like a crazy good deal for the size, I was pretty sure it wouldn't work out for us because of how big it was. Yeah, it's beautiful, but I thought surely God wouldn't want us in a house like that. But Caleb(and I eventually agreed) that we should at least pray and consider putting an offer on it. We came up with an offer that seemed reasonable for what we could do, but thought there would be only a small chance that we'd get it over someone else. We even went to see a few other houses the weekend after we put the offer in. We really liked one of them(in Blair Hills) and thought we'd put a good offer in that one if the first one was rejected.

I was pretty sure this house would be a big financial burden and that we wouldn't get it, so was super surprised when the bank accepted our offer. With the prayer and thought we(and others) put into it, I have to believe it was God's direction. Even so, it didn't make sense to me. I still don't understand why He would lead us to such a nice(and large) house, and questioned if it was really directed by Him. But His ways are mysterious, and I am incredibly grateful for what He has given us, for whatever reason.

Finally, back to the title...what this is really about. I've lived in a lot of places, especially since after high school, and more recently while we traveled. Since moving around more often, I've thought a lot what "home" is. Home to me has become anywhere I am with my husband. Even in the cramped hotel near DC for a month, it was home. I have learned not to be attached too much to the physical place. Even more than where home is with my husband, my real home is in heaven. In my varying circumstances, God has been reminding me "this place is not your home." That really excites me! It is a great reminder for me now to not get attached to the physical or material things we have. He reminds me what is really important...to keep my eyes fixed on what is eternal. I really struggle with that some days. I can see the danger of falling into the trap of materialism while owning a home, and how when life is good(especially for Americans), people lose sight of God. I do that. So my prayer is that I will be constantly humbled and daily remember that "this is not our home." And to do daily what we were created to do...give God glory, because He has given freely everything we have, and we don't deserve any of it.

What are your thoughts on what "home" is?

perspective...

Really wanting to have our own place; I struggle with patience in finding the right house. Wanting to be settled at a church, missing our church in Denver. Liking working nights but having trouble almost falling asleep on the way home all the time. Feeling sad and broken for the struggling church family where we used to go.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

What really stuck out as I read this is that Paul calls our troubles "light and momentary." And I'm sure he was dealing with stuff that is harder than what I'm dealing with. Even if it is hard...it really is temporary, and light, compared to the eternity we'll spend with Jesus! That is awesome. Thank you God for renewing me inwardly every day and giving me grace daily.

worship

Wow...I just read this excerpt from a guy who writes in a newsletter from our church back in Denver. This is where I'm at right now...what I think God is trying to teach me lately, as I have been working less and trying to find something full time.

...from another A. W. Tozer book – “Whatever Happened to Worship?”
“…Oh, if we would only remember who He is! God has actually never needed any of us – not one. But we pretend that He does and we make it a big thing when someone agrees ‘to work for the Lord’.
We all should be willing to work for the Lord, but it is a matter of grace on God’s part. I am of the opinion that we should not be concerned about working for God until we have learned the meaning and the delight of worshiping Him…
… I fear that there are many professing Christians who do not want to hear such statements about their ‘busy schedule’, but it is the truth. God is trying to call us back to that for which He created us – to worship Him and enjoy Him forever! It is then out of deep worship, that we do His work.
…I can safely say, on the authority of all that is revealed in the Word of God, that any man or woman on this earth who is bored and turned off by worship is not ready for heaven…”
(A. W. Tozer – “Whatever Happened to Worship?”)

It is the Spirit who draws us to worship. Let us desire with great urgency to cultivate an ear to hear what the Spirit is saying to the church.

thoughts

I wanted to share something I just read from someone else on the thoughts of God. One of my biggest struggles is with my thoughts. They tend to be negative at times, and worse either when I'm too busy or when my life lacks structure. Like right now. When I am alone more than I want to be and face uncertainty.

We each have the same number of hours in a day and can do whatever we want with it. I want to live as fully as I can glorifying God and living my life out of love for Him. Sometimes my thoughts are the enemy that keeps me from being who I want to be. So here's what I read...

Abraham Kuyper, in his book “The work of the Holy Spirit”, writes;

“…We think, we are self conscious, and the threefold world about, above, and within us is reflected in our thoughts. The man of confused or unformed consciousness or one insane cannot act as a man. True, there are depths in our hearts which the plummet of our thinking has not sounded, but the influence that is to affect us deeply, clearly, with outlasting effect upon our personality, must be wrought through our self-consciousness…Our though-world is full of falsehood, and so is the outer world. But one thought-world is absolutely true, and that is the world of God’s thoughts. Into this world we must be brought, and it into us with the life that belongs to it, as brightness to light. Therefore redemption depends upon faith. To believe is to acknowledge that the entire world of thought within and around us is false, and that only God’s world of thought is true and abiding, and as such to accept and confess it. So it is still the tree of knowledge. But the fruit now taken and enjoyed grows upon the inward plant of self-emptying , whereby we renounce our own entire world of thought, no longer judging between good and evil, but faithfully repeating what God teaches, as ever little children in His school.
But this would not avail us if God’s thoughts came in unintelligible words, which would have been the case if the Holt Spirit had used mere words…”